one more time
he broke my heart
one more time
we are falling apart
one more time
im drenched in this pain
one more time
tears fall in this rain
one more time
my feelings are numb
one more time
i feel so dumb
one more time
im shattered glass
one more time
i wait for this pain to pass
one more time
betrayed by my own
one more time
im all alone!!
On a recent trip to UK, something caught my eye! No, it wasn’t just the amazing natural beauty of the highlands and the countryside.. it was something else!! Like most developed countries that I have had the pleasure of visiting, UK also has a great system of public conveniences!! 🙂 You guessed it right.. they have an extended network of public toilets almost everywhere and anywhere you go.. One thing in particular that was interesting was this line written outside all disabled toilets “NOT EVERY DISABILITY IS VISIBLE”.
Now as a person travelling from a country where there is hardly any system in place for the disabled population, it was quite surprising to see how this one statement described the inclusivity of thought of the nation. The intention of this short statement was obviously to discourage people from judging “normal” looking people who are found using the disabled loo. Just because someone is not in a wheelchair, doesn’t mean they are not disabled. EVERY DISABILITY IS NOT VISIBLE!
So while on one hand this basically gave a free pass to anybody with a shady moral compass (or a toddler) to avoid lines at a busy “ladies” and “gentleman” sections of the loo, on the other hand it was a stark reminder of how we hardly acknowledge somebody’s disability, unless its truly visible to our eyes! I returned home with a lot of memories and souvenirs, but this one statement kept resonating in my head!! I just had to write about it! Now, I feel like I look at everyone wondering if they have a hidden disability.
A colleague at work could be suffering from depression, but keeps it hidden from us to avoid judgement! A new breastfeeding mom has to throw away the expressed milk at work, as she is not comfortable with the idea of putting the milk in the office refrigerator. An old neighbour who hides in her house all day because she can not face all the gossips about the children who abandoned her! An overworked housewife who does not take an afternoon nap to avoid taunts from the in laws! A working mom who can never attend an office party as she has to rush home after work to pick up the kid from day care, while her working husband never misses a single night out!
In health, we define disability as a “lack of ability” to perform a task that is considered normal for another person of the same age. Today, this definition means more to me. Its not just the person with physical inability, disability could be mental, emotional or social. If we could all just keep this in mind, I wonder if some day, life will be easier for so many of us out their with this invisible disability. Before you judge anyone for a task they are not able to perform, but is considered easy and normal for others, just remind yourself.. there is more to their story.. Every disability is not visible!!
I might have been his dream to begin with
But I am hardly his destiny
Why do I care so much
Who matters more to him than ME
So he is happy when he is away
So he thinks less and less of me everyday
Its not like I will not survive
If he decided not to stay
Its going to be alright
As long as I have my strength to sustain
He may not have much left to loose
But I have plenty to gain
The world outside is waiting
For me to step out of this nightmare
It may have been a dream to begin with
But better wake up… for a new day is here!
Have you ever thought about
What legacy you will leave behind
When your children’s children look through time
What do you want them to find?
I often wonder this now
As I cherish the memories hidden deep in my mind
How lucky was I that I had a nani
Who left a legacy one of a kind
Her spirit soaked in enigma
Her body frail, and yet a soul so strong
Her words inspired others
To take hurt and happiness along
There was never a moment
When her pain could find a way to her eyes
And yet her hands could write grief
I am yet to see again, a woman so wise
Born a girl so free of the real world
She would leave her mark despite the struggles of her days
A dutiful wife, a loving mother
A woman of substance without a face
While honoring the bounds of society
She broke through barriers with ease
Even as she remained tied to traditions
Inspired others to walk bold and free
Who will speak the truth
Who will carry the legacyÂ
Who will tell the story of ek satya
for the witness is history…..
It has been a very long time since I last wrote something. My thoughts these days revolve around luck, destiny, intuition and faith. Most things that are happening around my life these days feel like bad luck, but my intuition tells me what seems to be bad luck is actually my destiny taking me to the right path. My first reaction to everything that is happening automatically becomes positive. Despite adversities, despite friends turning into well.. you know, despite obstacles and despite difficulties, my heart is full of faith. I am surprised at this change in me. I have seen myself as a very negative person but I feel different. This intuition, is it really intuition or is it my defense for adapting to bad circumstances.
I can feel my heart tell me that every door that closes in my face is preventing me from jumping off a cliff. Every fall I have is for me to rise up. Every friend I loose is to make room for new ones. My life is unbelievably difficult right now and yet all I feel is how everything has been engineered for me to reach the right address, the right door, where standing with welcoming arms, my destiny awaits.. I believe today, more than ever that what is happening is happening for the best. I am lucky to have these adversities, as this is where I am pushed out of that comfort zone to realize my true potential. This is where I actually act on the opportunities presented to me! I guess, I hope that looking back I will say that I was lucky to have bad luck back then J
